


i had all and then most of you, some and now none of you.

by Onehellagaykid



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, but enjoy, its angsty but happy, this has taken me forever, this is for you Gane because you mean so much to me and you encouraged me to end this. x
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-30
Updated: 2017-07-30
Packaged: 2018-12-09 01:02:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,421
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11658360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Onehellagaykid/pseuds/Onehellagaykid
Summary: You don't want to get married do you?in which kara has the relationship angst and can't decide what she wants.





	i had all and then most of you, some and now none of you.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [GaneWhoo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/GaneWhoo/gifts).



"Kara, why did you want to talk to me?" James asked as he set down the coffee infront of her. 

Kara sat there staring down at the table, fiddling with her engagement ring. 

"You don't want to marry her?" James said and Kara looked up. A sad look in her eyes. Raising her hand up to her glasses she fiddled with them, not knowing what to say. 

"No, no. I mean yes I do b-but. I just... I don't know. I don't know what I would do if I lost her," She said playing again with the ring on her left hand. 

"You have to tell her," James said sipping his coffee. 

Cat has proposed to Kara 2 months previous and she had thinking for a while about whether to actually go through with it. There has been a massive amount of backlash from the board after Cat announced that she was dating not only her junior editor but someone 20 years younger. 

"You can't be serious? Winn had said when Kara told him of her relationship. Kara smiled and fiddled with her glasses. "She makes me happy," Kara mumbled playing with her stapler that say on her desk. Winn scoffed and sat back on the sofa that say in the small alcove of Kara's office. 

He smiled when Kara started to mumble. He stood up and embraced Kara in his arms. 

"That's good enough for me," He said as she pulled away from him. "So go on tell me."

"What?" 

"Who asked who?" 

Kara smiled as she went around her desk and sat in her chair. "She asked me to some dinner event thing as her assistant and everyone thought we were together. It wasn't until the end of the night did she admit that she liked the idea of me being around all the time and then we kissed. We started to go on dates and stuff and then I asked her if we could be together and she said yes."

"Why am I only just being told? And does the world know about Supercat?" Winn sad as he smiled

"What's supercat? Kara laughed.

"It's your ship name. Supergirl and Cat. Supercat." 

"Oh my god," Kara chuckled as she punched Winn lightly in the arm. 

\\\\\

"James I need you to help me with something. I can't figure out where to seat Lois and Clark. Clearly, Clark should be on the top table but I do not want Lois anywhere near us," Cat said as she fiddled with little cut outs of names trying to arrange a seating plan. 

"Miss Grant, don't you think you should wait for Kara to do this. I mean I can go and get her. She's only down the hall." 

Cat rolled her eyes and waved a dismissive hand to James as he nodded and went to find Kara. 

He got to her office and found her stuffing her face with a box of Krispy Kreme

"Where do you get those?l 

"Krispy Kreme sent them as a congratulations on the engagement." 

"Kara you need to talk to Cat. And now is the perfect time to do it. She's sorting out the seating. Go, now," He raised an eyebrow and then Kara huffed as she went to find Cat. 

"Ahhh, Kara. I need to work out where we are putting Lois and Clark. I feel like we should put Clark with us as he is your cousin but where shall we put Lois. Oh and where is you sister going. Is she sitting with us? Or are we putting her with Maggie?" 

"Cat-" Kara tried to say but the older woman just carried on. 

"And we have a cake tasting appointment at 1 on Saturday and then we have to take Carter shopping because he wants a new tie." 

Cat-" 

"Finally they have finally got the arrangement of flowers that we wanted for the centrepieces so we need to make sure they work:" 

"CAT! Listen to me! Please!" Kara said as she slammed a hand down Cat's desk, cracking my it slightly. The whole bull pen went silent. All waiting with anticipation to what would happen with their boss and her fiancée. Kara slowly pulled away her hand, and saw the crack that had formed from her strength. She looked up at Cat and saw her eyes wide. "C-Can you just stop for five minutes please," She whispered nervously. 

Cat took a deep breath, she saw the bull pen, silent unmoving. With one glare they were moving back at there original pace. "What happened? Last week you were doing all of this stuff, asking me for colour schemes. What changed?" Cat said as she rounded her desk and stood in front of Kara and grasped her hands in hers. Kara pulled away and walked over to the balcony. 

"I..."

"You don't want to get married do you?" 

Kara turned and saw the heartbroken look on Cat's face. Kara looked down and shrugged at the woman opposite her. 

She sighed as she pinched the bridge of her nose and place a hand on her hip. "Well, decide. Kara, what do you want." 

"I want you," She rushed over to Cat and took both of her hands, taking her out into the sun and warmth of the balcony. "God I want you but I can't... I just." 

"Can't what?" cat pulled away and looked over the city that stood in front of her. She placed her hands on the railing and swallowed down a sob. "Deal with the backlash, the fact that I'm 20 years older or that I have 2 sons, one who is practically your age! Or is it another reason from the endless list I made in my head when I first started this." 

The silence between them was uncomfortable for a few moments but bearable. Kara walked towards her and slipped her arms around Cat's waist. She rested her chin on her shoulder and pulled her in tight. Cat sighed and leaned back into Kara. She placed a few small kisses on the back and sides of Cat's neck, as Cat ran a finger up and down Kara's arm. 

"I don't think I could live with myself if I lost you or you got hurt because I love you. I love you so much. There's no Kara Danvers without you, there's no Supergirl without you. Basically no you, no me." 

Cat turned around in her arms and settled her head against Kara's chest. Kara placed her head on top of the blondes and just squeezed her tighter. 

"I need to talk to you about something actually," Cat pulled away and wiped a few tears that were running down her cheeks. "I've been thinking about...about taking a leave a of absence from CatCo," She looked into Kara's eyes which were laced with confusion.

"What? You're thinking about leaving! Why?" Kara backed away and hit a chair that had been placed just hidden away from the prying eyes of the CatCo bullpen.

"Kara, listen to me. I've-I've just...I've done all I can do here. I'm like a shark swimming in a tank, not knowing what to do. I need to dive and do different things." 

Kara just stood there, eyes wide with confusion and a hint of anger. Anger about Cat not telling her she wanted to leave, anger that Cat was going to leave her alone. 

"No, no. I-I can't do this without you here. I need you here to help me. I need to be super girls cheerleader. You're the only one who always kept believing in me and I need that at work as well as home. I can't do this. Knowing that when I come home and you're there, knowing that you're in my corner is everything. So I need you to stay, I need you to stay because I don't want to get married and I'm going to ruin it if you leave and-" 

"-what? What did you just say?" 

"I need you to stay." 

"Because you don't want to get married. I knew you didn't." 

"Oh god, no I want to be with you. God I do Cat but," Kara sighed and sagged against the chair as she sat down, " I-I don't feel ready for marriage. I don't think I'll ever be. You're a liability being with me and I can't risk you."

"Kara, don't you think I thought about all of this before coming into this relationship. I analysed everything," Cat's voice gained volume as she started to flail her arms about, to emphasise her point. She stopped and sighed, then furrowed her brow and looked to the floor. "And if you really don't want to get married I think we should-" 

"Don't you dare go where I think your going," Kara whispered and looked up at the older woman. 

"Only for a few days. You can still stay at mine or I can send you stuff back for Monday. I feel like I need to talk to Carter and we both need time," Kara nodded and blinked away tears. Cat placed a hand in her cheek and wiped away a few stray tears. She tried desperately to ignore the calls for help ad stay in Cats presence for a few seconds longer but she could never ignore a cry for help.

"I've...got to go," She said nodding to the city. 

"Supergirl duties," Cat said as Kara nodded. Cat placed a kiss on her cheek and Kara changed into her supersuit and flew off to go and save the day. "Go get em tiger," She whispered into the air, knowing Kara would hear her. 

\\\\\

Cat pushed open the door and kicked off her heels. She half expected Kara to be there but then she remembered the conversation that had occurred earlier in the day. 

"Mom?" Carter called out as he rounded the corner coming out from his room. "Where's Kara? She usually comes home with you." Cat smiled, placed her bag and coat on the counter and than lead Carter to the sofa that sat in front of a plasma TV. 

"Kara and I had a discussion today and we decided that were not going to get married," Cat thought it best that she just tell Carter exactly what they had discussed. 

"But you're still together right?" He looked at her an she looked away. "Right?" The 17 year old locked his jaw and shook his head laughing. "Why do you have to drive everyone away." 

"Carter Jackson Grant!"

"No, it's my turn to be angry! You drive away dad, Adam and now the only good thing in your life! Why can't you accept the fact that you're happy and it's not going to go wrong! Mom, I know you're worried about Kara suddenly leaving you and everything but please. Just try to be happy," Cat smiled at her teenage son smiling at her on the other end of the sofa. "So, call her and Sort this out because Saturday we have a cake tasting appointment so I want to eat as much cake as possible," He stood up and pulled Cat into a hug. When he pulled away there was a Knock at the door, he walked to answer it and an exhausted looking Maggie Sawyer was stood in the door way. 

Maggie stood there with an empty cardboard box. "She...er...she wanted me to get her some of her records and things, Alex is away so she asked me." 

Cat juts sighed and opened the door further for the cop to step in. Maggie smiled and made her way over to the records that were stacked next to player that at had bought for Kara. "I suppose that she wants her other things as well. I-I'll go and get them," Cat padded into get bedroom and closed the door. As she did a sob left her lips, clasping a hand over her mouth to muffle the sound, she procedded to acollect the various possessions of Kara's from a round her room. 

\\\\\

 

It had been a few weeks since the split and Kara couldn't bare it. She knew that it was her fault but she felt empty. She needed cat. She needed her words of wisdom, her laugh, but above all she needed her love again. During the weeks she had been in a funk, she left CatCo to and find her calling, the truth was that she couldn't cope with seeing cat everyday but couldn't cope with not seeing very day either. 

"Screw this. I'm going to break down that door of she doesn't come out soon," Alex whispered as she stood outside Kara's front door. After a few minutes silence a small knock filled the room and Kara scanned the door to see who it was. Alex was stood with a large box of something with James, Lucy, Maggie and Winn. Kara begrudgingly got up and opened the door. Leaning against it she took in all their faces and the many bags and boxes they carried. They all pushed past her and placed all the boxes and bags in the table. 

"Guys you don't have to do this. I'm fine," The all just went silent and gave Kara a pointed look. Alex raised her eyebrows and in disbelief and shook her head. 

Kara just smiled and then wiped her eye as a tear rolled down her cheek. She then let out a loud sob and collapsed on the floor. Alex ran to her sister and caught up in her arms. They sat on the floor hike the others crowded round and comforted her. 

"I miss her so much. I'm such an idiot," Kara laughed into Alex's arms. Then suddenly someone started to frantically knock on the door. James answered it and Vasquez came rushing in. 

"You complete and utter idiot," She was out of breath. She had been running, for how long they couldn't tell. Vasquez shook her head the SuperrSquad stood defensively to protect Kara. 

"Hey, you don't get to come in here and talk to her like this." 

"I know but I have news," Kara wiped her eyes and stood.

"It's alright. What's happening?" 

"Cat is taking a leave of absence and going off to find her calling. Don't know where. She has a press conference in about an 1 hour and then she's leaving straight after, and then some not so good news."

Kara wiped her eyes and gestured for Vasquez to carry on. 

"Livewire. She's back and angrier than ever. I have a feeling she's going to try and sabotage Cat's plane." 

Kara stood up and looked around, they were all waiting for her call. She couldn't miss that press conference but she couldn't just let livewire escape.

"James, Winn I need you go and stall cat. And the conference anyway you can. Go. The rest of you, I'll meet you at the DEO," Kara used her super speed and changed into her suit. James and Winn had gone as she asked to try and stall Cat while the rest of them made their way out of the apartment. She jumped out the window and flew out trying to listen for any sign of Livewire. 

"Supergirl, she's headed for Catco plaza. Don't worry Cat got clear about an hour ago. The conference is being held in the Halle Hotel," Kara flew to Catco and touched down in the middle of the plaza. Livewire appeared from a street light and watched the kryptonian.

"Hello Red and blue. Shame your ex fiancé is isn't here, I wanted you to watch her die," Kara flinched at the words and watched as Livewire stalked around her. Then suddenly she was launched back by a bolt electricity. It coursed through her and ultimately left her breathless. Livewire stood over her and smirked. "I cannot wait to stop your heart. Can you die though? That's what I would like to know, how about we beat you around a bit until your worthless instead," She spoke as her foot collided with Kara's ribs. Kara let out a yelp and rolled over to try and get away, then suddenly another kick, this time to her back left her in too much pain to move. Kara could feel her powers draining with each kick that came from the villain. 

"Leslie, please." Kara whispered trying to get her attention. Kara rolled on to her back looked Livewire in the eyes. "Please, stop." 

"Hmmm, I think I'm good," She laughed and proceeded to placed a combat boot covered foot in the middle of her chest and press down hard. "You powerless yet blondie. Go on try to stop me," She patronised her as she applied pressure to the boot. Kara cried out and launched her hands at Livewire's foot to try and pry her off. "I've had my fun, I don't want to kill you. Instead I'm going to go and find that little Kitty of yours."

"Don't touch her." Kara snarled as she struggled to moved under the weight crushing her chest. Livewire removed her boot and stood over Kara. She grabbed the front of her jumper and pummelled her fist into Kara' jaw and cheek bones. Kara spat out some blood when livewire stood back, admiring her handy work. She laughed at the powerless kryptonian and then disappeared into a street lamp. Alex and her team immediately ran over to Kara too see if she was okay. 

"I'm okay. I'm okay. I-I just need someone to go and find Cat. S-she's going after her," Kara whimpered as Alex helped her sit up. "I can't fly to her, Alex please. J-just go and see if she's okay," Alex nodded and squeezed her hand tighter. She shouted to the other agents to send a dispatch team to the airport and the hotel to try and track her down. Kara grasped onto her sister as she struggled to get up off the ground. Once she was stable, she climbed into the back of the black SUV waiting for her and sat holding her ribs. Alex tried to get her to come back to the DEO and get an X-ray but Kara refused, she had to beat Livewire at finding Cat. She already lost her once and she was not prepared to lose her permanently. Alex gave her a set of clothes because as she explained Cat was dating Kara Danvers not Supergirl and she couldn't be going into placing as demanding to see her in the super suit. After, painfully, getting changed she practically jumped out of the SUV when they pulled up to the Halle Hotel. She staggered through the doors and flipped against the reception desk. 

"Where's the press conference?" She asked, struggling to catch her breath, as her ribs started to burn.

"I'm sorry ma'am but I can't let you in, it's for accredited press only and you are rather late," The receptionist told her in a rather concerned tone. 

"Please, I just, I need to find Miss Grant. Is she here?" She asked pleading. The receptionist took a breath and turned to the computer. 

"It's in the Washington function room. You better hurry it ends soon," He nodded his head pointed her in the right direction. 

"Thank you!" Kara called as she practically ran in the direction and pushed open several sets of doors to find that room was empty save for a few people tidying away chairs and tables. Kara sighed and leaned against the wall, she slid down and held her head in her hands. She could feel tears start to form and she quickly wiped them away from the black eye that had started to form. 

"You know, she only left 15 minutes ago," A familiar voice told her, she looked up and saw Lois with her arms crossed and an eyebrow raised. Kara quickly got up without injuring herself and launched herself into the older brunettes arms.

"What are you doing here?" Kara asked as she pulled away from the hug.

"She told me that you may or may not turn up and if she wasn't here, I had to point you in the right direction. And clearly you are in need of a lift, as you're clutching your ribs so tight you look like your going to draw blood. Powerless?" Lois questioned and Kara nodded her head and smiled softly. "Well come on my Porsche is out front, James and Winn tried to stall her as you asked but she wasn't having any of it. And if you need Clark I can call him but it might take him a while, he's caught up in Metropolis," Lois looped an arm around Kara's waist to try and support her as they left the building and headed for Lois' car. 

\\\\\

The drive was short thanks to Lois' reckless driving. Kara jumped out and ran towards the private airport. The security guards stopped her as she arrived at the hanger, and denied giving her access to where She could see was Cat's plane. 

Cat could see someone trying to get into the hangar from the window of the plane. She put down her phone and saw the flash of a pink strip mall cardigans as the person was being escorted away. She got out of her seat and stepped down the stairs facing the doors. She heard various voices and then one that she really didn't want to hear. 

"Hello kitty cat. Looks like your running out lives," Leslie smirked and Cat just raised an eyebrow and placed a hand in her hip.

"This is getting old Leslie, you really need to stop with the cat jokes," Cat was scared, but she wasn't showing it. She stood her ground, not showing any emotion. 

"You know that your precious supergirl isn't coming. I practically left her dead. She's probably fighting for her life somewhere," Images of a beaten and bloody Kara started to fill Cats head, all she could picture was Kara covered in blood in some ditch not able to reach her, but Cat had been so positive that the blonde girl was her. As Leslie stood I front of her, she glared over her shoulders and saw a team of men dress in black sneaking towards them. "You know, I can help you join her if you want," she placed a hand over Cat's jacket, "I can help you. It would be quick, painless and very enjoyable for me," She took a step closer and that's when the soldiers ran into action, springing a trap to capture her, cat took cover in the place as bullets were fired as well she had to try and find that girl and hope it was Kara, her Kara. Once Livewire was captured, she was found, hiding at the back of her plane by Alex. 

"It's okay. She's fine. Come on, I'll take you to her," Cat smiled and took Alex's extended hand. 

// 

Kara saw Livewire being taken down and was thankful that Cat got to cover. She needed to see her, but suddenly her vision became blurry and her head felt light and then before she knew it she was on the floor with Lois doting over her. Her ribs were burning when she came too, her face she felt was swollen, incredibly. She looked around and found herself in the back seat of a car with someone stroking her hair, she opened up one eye very carefully and saw a blonde halo around the face she had been missing for the past several months. She tried to speak but the words died in her throat when she overheard the conversation between Cat and Alex. 

"How's she been? I haven't seen her since that day but sometimes I know she's outside the office or my balcony. I've been so stupid Alex. I just abandoned her and she needed me and I needed her. It was the wrong decision and I can only hope that she forgives me and stubbornness and still get married, because those months without her were the worst months of my life. I drank a lot and carter rarely saw me, she makes me want to be better and I need her." Her fingers scratched gently at Kara's scalp and Kara started to fall back asleep in Cat's lap. 

When she woke up properly, Cat was asleep on a chair all tangled up with a book in her hand. It was Kara's favourite, Alice in Wonderland. Her ribs felt slightly better than before and she could tell that she was slowly beginning to get her powers back. Her face still hurt and her right eye was still rather swollen from the endless punches she had got from Leslie in their fight. The door opened gently and Alex stepped in smiling at her sister. She placed down a tray of food down in front of Kara and helped her sit up. 

"How you holding up?" Alex asked. 

Kara just looked at her and smiled, "I'm much better now thanks. I'm just waiting for her to wake up so I can apologise. I've missed her so much," Kara said as she grabbed her fork and proceded to start eating the large meal of noodles and a side of pot stickers. She was half way through when Cat stirred awake. She met Kara's eyes, immediately gasped, and placed a hand over her mouth. Kara smiled, placed down her fork and held her arms wide open for Cat to hug her. Cat just smiled and practically jumped into Kara's arms. 

"I'm so sorry. I should never have reacted the way I did. I shouid have talked to you. Of course we don't have to get married yet. We can wait, I would wait forever." Cat rested her head on Kara's shoulder as she clambered up to hug her better. 

"I've waited long enough. Marry me. Seriously. Send out the invites." Kara smiled as she placed her lips to the crown of Cats head.

"Really?" She smiled as she pulled away and sat up in front of Kara.

Kara just nodded her head and pulled Cat into another kiss. They talked a lot that night, mainly just the other one apologising and saying how sorry they were, but in the end they talked about the table arranging and all the things that Cat was stressing about on that horrible day. Kara was happy once again and Cat, well, she couldn't wait to make the kryptonian her wife.

**Author's Note:**

> and yes the ending was slightly inspired by my fave ever film Notting Hill. It took me forever but i hope you enjoyed it.


End file.
